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in the silence, the river runs and the river hides out to the ocean and under the sky i promise you the answer will come hold on to patience and watch for the sign everything in its time | |
MiaoYun Foo  BWSS Badminton Council Prom Committee An Exquisite Element of the periodic table, unlikely you'll ever know. :D Most of our life is a series of images. They pass us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes, a moment stuns us as it happens. And we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment, every part of it will live on forever. - Lucas Scott BWSC BWSS 2e3 CBSS 2e4 Alvin Arthur Ashly(: Bianca Cheryl(: Christel(: Denyce Jake Jelissa Jerena JiaAn Joleen Kelly Cho Marissa Marvin Michelle P Ranjetha Safiah Silas Sonia Tashryn Tiffany<3 Tiffany Ten Tirta Victor WeiShi XinYi YangYang Yanni YiYing YuHeng |
no pressure, no diamonds.
Saturday, April 30, 2011, 12:28 AM Okay, well, afew things have been stuck in my mind for the past few weeks. So here i am, finally 'pen-ing' these down. Am satisfied after having supper w J @Tau-huay. haha. Well firstly, i noticed the time lapse i've been having for the past month. Grades and studies are most important, however i still deem as the moment, A'div as being the more important thing now. I'm feeling all shitty and guilty for not being constant with my work and only allowing fatigue to get the better of me. It somehow struck me that my chinese cher said "if you dont constantly use your brain cells properly, it ill disintegrate". i dont know. i'm feeling every of my thought going through self-condictory at this moment. i admit, i have not been keeping up with my work. Take for example, not doing my constant revision everyweek. I've been stuck in this cycle whereby my friday nights are spent on other commitments, saturdays being completely burned from 7.30am till 7pm and only leaving sunday for decent revision. 1/7days of intense revision a week is, not enough. i'm stuck in this cycle, and i cant seem to pull myself outta it. simply cause i'm just too tired and somehow lost the motivation to push myself further. I'm drained both physically and mentally. and a full day's worth of sleep cant seem to compensate this tired-ness in me. maybe, i can just simply put it -im just too lazy. but no, i dont know if i should really conclude that i'm just being lazy and not making that extra effort in catching up with my work. well, can we include in the factor of human limits into this whole situation? or should i just put it "i've burned out and i need a damn rest." its horrifying just seeing the workload i've ought to do. especially PWPI. getting me really pissed off lately. well, long story bout that. dateline's approaching and and being graded LEE and ironicly NG by 2 different teachers. -kns- secondly, missing classes due to A'divs. its been bugging me since A'div started. and relating to missing classes, it drowns down to having classmates taking the initiative in helping me out here. i dont know. my class? i'm just speechless at how some supposed close friends can turn out to be someone totally different. and thats part of my reason why i'm just disparting myself from 26. i dont want to hold back and keep cheating myself into thinking "theres a solution to this, we can cick." we can and never will if our passion, interests and personalities clash. i need to start being true to myself that this is what it is, move on and stop trying. 'cause it tiring. 'tiring to keep trying and not seeing the others making the effort. i've already got so much on my hands, and i'm only able to hold this much. i need to start learning to let go and accept things as it is. move on. it isnt the end, and stop giving yourself that cliche line of "nothing's impssible". it may not be impossible, but its not worth you trying this hard. Yes, i've given up w life in class. as dreadful as it may be, try an alternative. anyhow, i'd like to really question this statement. -when you say you'd try and do your best, are you really giving your 101% of sweat and effort? When we ask, "do you want it. do you want to fight all the way to the end?", how many actually meant what they say. isit merely words we say to prove how much you mean something? or do you show how much you want it, BADLY. it isnt a time to be complacent. and it isnt about just giving your all. its about stepping in court, and giving yourself the option "do or die". when we give ourselves options, we're allowing space for mistakes. do know how important you are to the team. Let fight, NYBT. |